In this world where every human being seeks for stability, certain things come to my mind. Before anything else, I'm an artist. A son, a boyfriend, and a best friend. Being an artist, I don't think I'm living the life I want. I once chatted with my manager (he was in Dublin) and we were talking about how crappy things are in Manila, why were we working so late, and other shit like that. I told him that it was just the way us Manila folks work. He told me that it's not worth it. Asked me what I would do if I were given the choice (anything). I answered, sing. When he asked why I'm not singing I was lost for words. I had nothing substantial to give him as a response. Am I to be one of those people in the movies who never went for their dreams and just became content with easy living?

I've always imagined being an artist (quasi Bohemian at most). There too much running through my veins and I fear that one day I'll just burst... into song. :)

I was told by a friend that it shouldn't be that difficult to live that dream, but not in the Philippines. I agree. Stability is still a big factor for us Filipinos. I then told that manager that, maybe it's the encouragement, the push I need that's not there. I'm thinking I'll need someone to drop kick my ass on a stage to sing my guts out.

So, should people still reach for their dreams given the high amount of risk involved? Should I attempt for being the person I truly am? What the FUCK should I do???

Just thought I'd post on something that's been on my mind. I have affirmed to myself that I will be moving out from my parents' house an live on my own. Me and my honey haven't finalized plans but there are plans of moving in together. We won't be together all days of the week though as we would definitely need time for ourselves and be with our respective families on weekends or special occassions. I am just curious as to how things will pan out. If we'll actually do well with living in one place for a long period of time. I'm also hoping that we wont end up on each other's necks by the first month. I have heard some stories but I don't know if those stories would apply to us. Watching Sex and The City isn't helping much. I don't know if I will actually be used to having someone around that often. I remembered the whole single eccentricities we all have would get dumped because we are sharing a place with another person when we live in together. Do we really have to sacrifice our single lifestyle for a piece of bliss? Why is moving in so damn complicated when all we really want is to be close to the person we love? Are gay men really for domesticated paradise?

Damn you ... that was such a funny post on "gay roomies" from Dan Savage's column... which is why I'm going to link to it here.