FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!

If I see one more guy wearing BLACK SHOES with a BROWN BELT... or vice versa... I'd seriously SCREAM!!!!

All about hair...

Had a fun time Friday night. I went to the salon to have my hair cut. As I made an appointment that afternoon with my stylist, I checked in with a couple of friends if they wanted to go on with the hair make over. They all confirmed so I made appointments for them as well. I got in touch with the other good stylists of the salon. I made it a point not to get my other stylist as I think my friends would run and hide if they knew how much that guy charged. Ha ha ha... But I got them good ones just the same at lower cost.

Went in at around 6PM (this was so that I could have fab hair for the evening since I have dinner with friends). I was waiting for my friend who I scheduled for the same hour (6PM). He was a tad late but that was ok. I was conversing with my stylist after my hair got shampooed and was actually consulting with him what style would suit me for the look I wanted. I wanted short slightly cropped but still edgy. He told me he will do this new style on me. I was ok with it. It seemed harmless. An hour later, I felt ultra fabulous. It was amazing how my hair actually changed. It looked very Tony & Guy. Yet, I can do a fun and casual look with it too. Coolness!

I waited for my friend after my haircut and was just checking out what the other stylist was doing on his hair. I thought it was coming along well so that got me out of panic mode. When I saw the finished product, I was amazed. Thank god he allowed me to take him to the salon (needless to say he doesn't know what to do with his hair now so I told him to get hair wax).

Anyway, the day went by with fab dos and the two other buddies of mine went in with long hair, got out with chopped locks and fab crops. You guys looked amazing in your new dos. Fantabulous.

So, I got home and the next morning I was contemplating on how I was going to fix my hair. I did some shampooing with conditioner (just like I always do with newly chopped hair). I use different brands of shampoo so my hair won't feel heavy. I change brands every month. I use different types of conditioner too but I do love Cream Silk's Scalp Care Conditioner. I don't know why. Its just that it has been there for me through thick and thin (hair that is). It's saved me more times than any doctor. I love this brand.

So on with my hair rituals, I pat my hair dry (not roughly coz that'll just ruin your scalp and the roots of your hair, I don't want to stress how falling hair is soooo not IN). After my hair's a bit dry, I take out my handy dryer and use the cold dry function to just air dry the strands and my scalp. I don't dry it too much as I don't want to get flakes on me. I then realized that using a hair iron on my do would actually be helpful, so I did. I ironed my hair (just like I did when I sported long hair). It helped thin things out. Make it more soft. I don't suggest doing this often though... hair damage ring a bell?

I'm ready to fix my hair now (after 15 minutes). I am using a local brand of hair paste/gum/wax. I have used several products and liked every single one. I've used this shining wax from Kerastase - Paris (that cost me $15 and lasted like three to four months, not bad). I've used the Gatsby Hair Wax (blue container -- this I loved totally). Now, I saw a new product from Bench so I thought I'd try it. It isn't so bad. It smells ok. It does it's job not to make my hair get into clumps. I hate clumped hair (you know how gel makes your hair clumped if you put it on while your hair's wet). I put on the product with my hair dried up nicely. I learned that one should work the product (i.e. rub it with your hands) before working it into your hair. I also learned that you should work the product on your hair from the back to front. So I do that, religiously. I develop a faux hawk but subtle it down a bit. Make it less, er... prominent.

Done. Get on my red shirt, Zara shoes and Gap jeans and I'm off to meet my mildly depressed baby. I'm off to cheer him up. Yipee...


... report, I got to cheer up my baby and loved the after cheering up sex. :) Bwahahahahahaha!!!

Let's face it. People get deeply affected when it's love that's being talked about. More so if it is about falling out of love.

That's not what I am trying to write just about now though. I just want to let out my thoughts on what I think should be done in the current situation my friend is in. I won't necessarily have to relay what has been happening as I might make certain mistakes on some points or scenarios.

I guess all I want to say is, it is ok to express one's love. It is ok to let the other person know what you feel, to let all the emotions pour out from inside you. But, I believe that we all have limitations. That we all should be mature enough to supress ourselves from going all out. I think there's a line between mad about love and just plain mad.

As I always think about predicaments in a manner where I try to imagine what Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City) would do, I try to recall what she thinks on the above situation. What would Carrie do if she loves someone who's already attached. A ha! Mr. Big. She had sex with him. More than once. She even ended up being caught by Big's wife (then). Ugh. So do I tell a friend that he should fuck the love of his life. Add to this the probability of him being caught by the boyfriend. Complications complications.

Anyway, I'm trying now to think what I'd do if I were out hitting the clubs with the guy I absolutely have a huge ass crush on, nee, almost love. Knowing how much I want to let him know I'm this fabulous person and that I could do so much better, I'd probably flirt with him till the wee hours of the night er.. morning. But then, knowing me, my friends would be there (and I would be pretty sure they know my situation), I'd be told to quit it. I'd end up crying. Crying for myself. Crying coz I know I can't have my candy. I can't have my Prada shoes. I can't have him. But then, it will dawn on me. If I can love someone I can't have this much, what more someone that I can actually have.

I'll feel much better. I'd pick myself up. Go up to him. "I know that you know that I love you. God knows why but I do. I'm not a bad person, really. I made a huge mistake. I really want you to be happy and since I can see that you are, I'll leave you be. I will have to keep you on my phone book just in case I want to meet up with you again for coffee or whatever, but right now, I think it best for me not to see you, yet." I seal those words with a friendly kiss on the cheeks and forehead. Walk away like the diva I am.

*Sigh*... wow, that was one amazing scene. Hmmm... oh well, I'd go do that or copy something off of the move "My Best Friend's Wedding".

To you, my friend. I hope you'll find the light bulb moment with your current situation. You know how I hate good people being in a horrible slump. Labs yah buddy!

Let me stray from the usual posts I've been making. I'm just a little pissed. It's one thing to be fab, it's another to be stabbed. (hmmm... nah, that's too much)

Anyways, I received the worst comment from a friend yesterday. Talking to him and the other people gathered around us was nice until, "oh, I saw your bag when I went to the Kenneth Cole store. It was in the SALE section. Apparently, it's out of season."

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY SWEETHEART?!?!?!?!?!

I just retorted, "well, the thing is, totes are in, so technically, my bag is actually IN season."

I honest to God hate it when someone says something like that to my face. I would have appreciated it if he said that to someone else. Man, that really burst my Berkin bubble.

I was also thinking I could've done a better come back line like, "oh really? it was probably displayed next to YOUR TASTE... so last season." But then, that would've been really bad... I wouldn't mind.

Fuck it! I will probably slap him once I get my hands on those new Jack Spade totes. See how the straps would look around his neck as he goes blue from asphyxiation.

Never mess with a fashionista. We could be damn bitches!

The clothes make a man... but what makes another man (or woman) make love to the man?

Scent. If you are blessed with an amazing personal aroma (as I know there are who have that gift) then you should not be worried with finding the right scent for you. But for commoners, other people end up recognizing you by your trademark scent. It can be sometimes good, or bad.

I remember, there was a time I knew a friend of mine would be nearby when I could smell her. Literally. Her scent was, let's just say, head turning. It was the most pleasant of odors but it was her. This just proves the statement, you are what you smell like... hahahaha (I just made that up).

If you are the type who wears the same cologne year after year and realize that it never works for you, you may be in need of a slight change in personal fragrance. Just throw away your Old Spice and take a look at what's new at the fragrance counters of a nearby department store.

I can't state enough how essential it is to know that every scent or cologne smells different on every person. The way your body blends with the scent is a question of chemistry, and has to do with the chemical reaction between you and the particular fragrance. While your friend smells great in the latest Calvin Klein cologne, it could make you smell more like a gym locker. Honest.

With this in mind, it's very important to try on a scent before purchasing it and never ever assume that what smells good on everyone else will smell good on you. You would never buy a pair of shoes before trying them on, right? Well, the same goes for cologne.

To do this, just go to the store and spray different types of cologne on one of those card thingies. The reason behind this is if you try them all on your arm, your arms and wrists will be drenched by the other scents by your fourth cologne. You will never know the right fragrance unless you put each one on different cards or pieces of paper. Note to yourself that when one of those annoying counter people standing in front of the cologne section at the department store is ready to massacre you with a spray from a bottle of cologne, you should stand back. Just tell them to spray the cologne on a card instead so your wrists remain scent-free.

Try to test the different scents by smelling the various cards to check which fragances you like, and which ones smell more like RAID. You can throw away the ones you really don't like. After having sniffed and smelled all the cologne you are interested in -- or until you feel faint, whichever comes first -- take a breather and walk around the shopping center or outside the store for a while. It would also prove helpful if you sniff coffee between each cologne. This will help give you the full effect of each scent since coffee refreshes your sense of smell. So if you're walking around the department store with a cup of Starbucks, you don't even need to take a break from sniffing. You want to give your nose a little bit of a rest so that your sense of smell is rejuvenated before returning to the store to make your final purchase.

When you are finished "resting", go back to the store to make your decision. This time you can test out how the cologne smells on you. You shouldn't have as many options since you won't be as bombarded by an assortment of scents and fragrances, after having already gone through an elimination process.

That should get you started. Now, from the scents I know of, these are my favorites (on me or on another guy)...

Hugo by Hugo Boss --> get's me worked up... he he he... did I just say that out loud?

L'Eau D'Issey Pour Homme by Issey Miyake --> this is one classic smell. It has that tangerine twist which is just divine. I do feel bad for a friend who had his Issey stolen. I do hope you'll get something soon to at least lessen the pain from being parted with your scent.

Happy for Men by Clinique --> this is what I'm using now. I like it because it smells so fresh and clean. Straight out of the shower type of clean. :) hmmmmm... smells good!

Others I can't really remember. Basically, just like anything, choose something you'll feel comfortable with. If possible, ask a friend to go with you when you're buying a new scent. A second opinion helps. Happy sniffing.

Days have been oh so annoying for me. Add to that this cellular phone that keeps on beeping (alarm). Apparently the owner left it on his desk and we can't shut it off coz it's asking for a code. Argh!!

Digressing from my emotional stress, I think of shoes. How my newly polished black square-toed pair look on my black flat fronts. Damn, I need newer socks. The pair I'm wearing now are a tad plain. I have to remember to drop by M&S at the mall later today.

As I type this entry, my eye catches my ring finger on my left hand. I see a ring. Silver. My honey gave this to me. He bought it at a silver shop in Baguio (a city far north of Manila). It seems like it has Egyptian symbols. Really interesting. My hands and arms pretty much have jewelry that are silver or stainless. I always wear two essential pieces (plus the ring for sentimental reasons). Watch and bracelet. I never leave home without the two. I'd feel naked if either one was absent from one of my wrists.

I remember having left for the U.S. last month and realizing when I got on the plane that I left my bracelet. They're the Italian kind, stretchable. Really nice. They match my watch's steel band. Boy did I feel horrible not having anything on my right wrist for an entire two weeks (I'm right handed so normally I have my watch on my left wrist and the bracelet on my right).

I did compensate. I had on me a really simple necklace. Circular cut out puka shell that looks just like a white LifeSavers with a leather cord. A small wooden bead is on one end of the leather cord and a loop on the other. They serve as the lock for this really simple necklace. A friend gave it to me. So basically, I still have two pieces, my watch, and my necklace (oh and the ring).

This leads me to accessories. Is it even proper? How much of it can someone wear?

Let's start with jewelry. For me, rule of thumb is men should have just enough jewelry to accentuate their "limbs" or anything long (no pun intended). Arms, fingers, legs, toes, neck, etc. I'll start with the basic.

Watches. Everyone pretty much knows that a watch is an essential. The thing here is that, the type of watch you have can reflect who you are or, if you have dozens of watches, it can reflect your mood for the day. Like I said, I only have one watch. It's silver-ish in color. White face. It's a friggin' company watch but I like it. It's simple. Very minimalist. People mistake it for some expensive brand until they see my company's name on the face. Ha ha ha.

I would suggest to go for a watch that speaks "this is me". If it were a Rolex oyster, a Cartier Tank Francaise or Pascha, a Baby-G, or a Nike Triax, it's really all up to you. I would suggest however to get watches that have a classic design. For dressy yet not so expensive, I'd go for Kennet Cole time pieces. I love their collection. Go check it out on KennethCole.com. Fossil also has a good collection. But if you are on a tight budget, I have to admit that Timex carry a wide array of pretty decent watches. Just get the ones with minimal visibility of the Timex brand.

Rings, necklaces, bracelets. This is a toss up. I personally love bracelets. I like how they look on my wrist. I would go for something similar in color to the combo of your watch. If you have a two tone (gold-silver) watch then go for a two tone bracelet. It would be nasty to see clashing wrists. Ruins the balance. If you are either a ring person, I'd suggest to wear one if you are wearing a metal banded watch. Otherwise, it would look weird. If you are wearing one, go for the tones of your watch's band. Here though, you don't have to do a two-toned ring for a two-toned watch. You can use either silver or gold as long as it's of the same shade (silver or gold).

One can be more relaxed with necklaces. The only thing I try to remember is the whole tone thing and shade thing. This only applies if your wearing a metal banded watch and a chain necklace. Other than that, any coordinating necklace would do. It's an accent piece to some. A part of the wardrobe for others. I go for accent. Suggestions for summer. I'd still go with the white shell necklaces, but something simpler would always have more impact. If you want to accentuate that amazing tan, a necklace with a light shade would look hot. Something darker would not even do anything for you. Trust me. And, no more fucking buddah beads on someone's neck! You are only allowede this if you are a Buddhist monk, like my dad's youngest brother (that's a different story).

I'll get into other accessories after more time has been spent doing actual work than posting blogs. As if!! hahahahaha!!

Being vertically challenged has never been more fun... fashion wise. I made some amount of research (while I was working here in the office) to find some decent tips for peeps out there who are clamoring for some good advice on dressing up if you feel you're a little, err... a little low.

If you follow the items I outlined it could help in some way... and it won't hurt. :)

Just go for a simple wardrobe. This will help you avoid standing out in a crowd.

Avoid designs and patterns. These break up your outfit's vertical lines that normally make you look taller. (applicable to jackets, shirts, or a pair of pants, etc)

Vertical lines in shirts, suits, pants, and sweaters help in extending the facade of a shorter frame or body.

A uniform top and bottom will make your body look longer. (i.e. if you're wearing blue jeans, wearing a similar blue shirt will make you look taller)

Essentially, clothes need to fit perfectly. Wearing something tight or loose will emphasize your physical flaw.

Jackets and blazers should fall slightly below your buttocks and not above it.

Avoid blazers or cardigans with more than 3 buttons. Remember that these are designed for taller men and will end up making you look shorter.

Never wear your pants too high. Wear them just above your hips for maximum results.

Buy pants that are low-rise (a short distance between the crotch of your pants and the top of the waistband). Levi's has them.

Avoid any kind of puckering around the hips caused by full pockets, tight and badly designed pants especially pleated ones. They will make you look wider, hence shorter.

Your pants should break just above your shoes so your socks don't show.

V-neck t-shirts and sweaters will also make your torso look longer.

Avoid tucking baggy tops because they will make you look like an ice cube (wide and short).

So there. Thanks to websites i was able to gather the information above. I have to say that was enlightening for me to. :) This is new territory. Hope this helps someone at least.

Queer eye for queer guys....

The Wednesday party posed an opportunity to watch an episode of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy... a show I absolutely love. It's a show I can truly say would be a dream come true if I were given the chance to be in it as a member of the Fab 5. I know I may not be as wise as Carson in terms of Fashion but I am equipped. It's been my life.

The episode was quite old as the tips Carson mentioned were a bit hmmm.... gazillion-seasons ago. Also, I would've went for something less trendy but more hip clothes for their episodes' "straight guy". I did like what Thom used for the bedroom cum office. I'm pretty sure that was an IKEA high bed (the ones where the bed is like 10 feet above the floor and there's space below to put up an office or an entertainment center. I also liked what Kyan did with the hair. The highlights idea was just right. So anyway, enough about them, I do like the whole concept of "making over" people. I've resigned myself to being a stylist for my close friends. Offering them solicited (mostly unsolicited) advice. I'm so into that. I also compliment people I know on how they look and special pieces in their get up which I think was a good choice for an accent.

A good example was The Doc's watch. I loved his watch last Wednesday. It was a BVLGARI with a silver face and camel wrist straps. Amazing touch and went well with his shirt. I also noticed Arjae's look. The half tucked shirt is so good on him. (I try to do this as well after having done it for quite a while... since like ages ago). The thing with the half tucked shirt is that it adds something special to one's look. It also emphasizes the belt (so if you're going to try it, please wear a nice belt) and waist area. Makes your shoulders look broader. Just really simple but hip. Very Ethan Hawke/Gap model kinda look.

Now, to a part of ones look I can never say enough of... shoes. Cardinal rule of dressing for men, shoe color should match belt color (if any). The only time this can be broken is if you're wearing sneakers, wearing a blue and yellow adidas with a blue and yellow belt just spells fashion disaster. Also, a tip, white belts are the latest fad... maybe a staple. Going back to shoes... I feel it is my obligation to help out the population by promoting good shoes. Shoes are an investment. Don't settle for a cheap pair. Go for something classic, sturdy and comfy. The trendy designs, hmmm... I'd say you can buy the cheaper ones but not on say a black lace-up. That's sacriligeous. If I were to suggest a pair of black shoes for someone looking for something for both work and play (i.e. partying)... I'd probably suggest shoes from Mendrez (Philippine brand). Get the mildy square toed ones. I'm not saying that square toed shoes are going out of style coz that will never happen. The mildly squared toe ones don't look too trendy. They are just right for the versatility the person using them is looking for. I would suggest however not to get the ones with humungous soles. Please give me a break. Slimmer soles are nicer and look cleaner. If you have enough kerching kerching, I'd probably go for Traffic ones. (Right angelo?). They're not really that expensive but they are just so divine.

With shoes, I think a guy should have at least 10... 2 black, 2 brown, 2 sandals (thongs, etc. as long as they are leather), 2 sneakers, 2 fun ones (either loaffers or something trendy). Lemme see, I have the two black Ballys, this pointed pair that I just absolutely love (been dying to get something like this for months), the black boots that helped me last winter, the pair I bought in Greece (hmmm, I wonder where those are), the Italian ones I bought for a bargain at P1000 ($20), my brown Oleg Cassini boots, a new brown buckled pair for also ($20), my RAVEL camel pair I bought in Dublin that I always match with my Burberry socks, the new Asics sneakers I got for ($20) at Marshalls (hahahaha), the Presto and the Cons, and my five millions sandals (I especially love the Kennet Cole pair, the Ralph Lauren and the cheap leather thongs I bought from Sari sari for $15). Ha ha ha ha...

So... I think with this, I need a new shade of brown shoes... Hmmmm...

Come to think of it, this post reminds me of an old entry I made eons ago. This just proves how much of a shoe fanatic I am.

The Gentleman


Deliberate
Gentle
Love
Master
(DGLMm)

Steady & mature. You are The Gentleman.


For anyone looking for an
even-keeled, considerate lover, you're their man. You're sophisticated.
You know what you want both in a relationship and outside of it.
You have a substantial romantic side, and you're experienced enough
sexually to handle yourself in that arena, too. Your future relationships
will be long-lasting; you're classic "marrying material," a
prize in the eyes of many.


It's possible that behind it all, you're a bit of a male slut.
Your best friends know that in relationships you're
fundamentally sex-driven.
You're a safe, reliable guy, who does get laid.
In a lot of ways,
you're like a well-worn, comfortable pair of socks.
Did you ever jack off into one of those?
All the time.



Your ideal mate is NOT a nut-job. He is giving and
loving, like you, but also experienced. Avoid the The False Messiah
at all fucking costs.


CONSIDER: The Gentleman, someone just like you.

I had an interesting night so to speak. I dilly dallied off to Glorietta (the nearby mall) to meet my honey. Looking at store windows every so often. I pretty much noticed that the mall shops were on sale. I kinda wondered why I'm not shopping at that exact moment. Oh yeah, I still have $1500 worth of credit. Bugger. So off to where my honey told me we'd be meeting (Gaming Headquarters?). I suddenly heard a whistling sound (Twisted Nerve from Kill Bill)... shit that's my phone. I saw the words "Call" on my phones screen. Yikes, international call. I have a feeling this would be... "Hello?"... "Oh, hi Roberto"... "I'm not in the office anymore"... "I'll try to send you the email tomorrow". Bugger. Our counterparts in South America. Eek. I so don't like talking to them. I always feel so pressured. Most of the time we're not understanding each other. I sometimes think it would be better if they'd just talk in English AND Spanish.

Finally saw my honey. We're off to have a quick dinner at "Spam Jam" where they serve various types of dishes made from Spam. I don't know why my honey likes this. Well, I do know. He likes really salty stuff. He he he. Anyways, the food wasn't half bad. But for 100 pesos I'd rather make my own Spam concoction (don't get upset hun). We finished quite quickly. Off to the parking lot near my office building. We venture off to Paragon Plaza where a mini party will be held. I don't have to emphasize how horrible the EDSA traffic is. Damn this major thoroughfare. I honest to God need to know where all these people are going? Are they off to their own versions of a Paragon Party. On the road, my honey and I could see this CR-V with the front passenger window down. Inside was this crazy ass guy waving to everyone on the road. What the fuck! Is he crazy? I must say it was kinda funny watching him making a fool out of himself. Buses filled with people were just cracking up at the site of the free show.

We arrived at Paragon 30 mins after leaving Makati. That's quite a long time for a place that's probably 2 miles away. Horrible traffic really. After parking at basement 2, we had to get up to the 38th floor. Inside I was all excited to actually be at the infamous Paragon Plaza party. We're meeting my honey's group of friends. You see they've always partied here and I haven't been to any of those infamous parties. I'm all excited as we knock on the door. Holy cow. There are quite a number of people here, and it's only 8:30PM. Considering it was a work day the next day, there was a pretty huge turnout. Did my rounds with the people I know. Got introed to the ones I don't know. (Did I mention everyone in the place is either gay or gay? ha ha ha)

Fun party even without booze. I got to quickly catch up with almost all of them. I honestly had fun. (I don't have to tell you about the call from South America while I was already at the party... he he he) People were doing karaoke (videoke). Cool! My honey was engaged in a Magic game with the other Magic peeps at the party. I wanted to try out the Magic Mic. Did my staple "On The Wings Of Love" where I asked to adjust the pitch. Apparently I made a mistake on the adjustment. I asked for 2 levels higher (pitch) but it was still too low for me. I just compensated. It was fun to sing with these guys. They're so into it. It's all so cool.

I didn't notice how much time we've already spent at the party that when it was about time for us to leave, I didn't seem to want to go. Bugger. Oh well, all good things must come to an end (as the cliche goes). It was such a great party. I do hope I get to talk to the other people there who I just met when I was about to leave also chat more with the other peeps I already know. Good times. Hope to see them soon.

I'm really liking the new look of my blog. It's so, hmmm... fresh and clean. Just like me. Ha ha ha!

A song that's been playing in my head for the past four days... FUCK... I so want to sing it!

Come On In Out Of The Rain
by Wendy Moten

Ooo-ooo-oo
Ooo-oo-oo
Ooo-ooo-ooo-oo

You said you believed that we'd
Find love together happily
After all the wrong I've done
You feel that I'm still the one
To give your loving to
So bring it home to you

Chorus
----------
You told me that you'd love me if I'd ever change
Welcome me into your arms again
Come on in out of the rain, hey
There's a place in your heart to love me again
Happiness and joy you bring
When you call my name
Come on in out of the rain

I loved no one but you
But I strayed, I know I made you blue
You spoke unto my very soul
You warmed my heart that once was cold
Now I'm so glad to know

Chorus
----------
You told me that you'd love me if I'd ever change
Welcome me into your arms again
Come on in out of the rain, hey
There's a place in your heart to love me again
Happiness and joy you bring
When you call my name
Come on in out of the rain

Bridge
---------
Some people spend a lifetime looking for love
And I had love right here all the time
Why did I try to deny it
Deep inside I just couldn't fight it
You turned my life around
The love I lost is found
So let the rain come down

Chorus
----------
You told me that you'd love me if I'd ever change
Welcome me into your arms again
Come on in out of the rain, hey
There's a place in your heart to love me again
Happiness and joy you bring
When you call my name
Come on in out of the rain

(Come on in out of the rain)
Ooooo-oh-ooo, yeah, yeah, yeah
(Come on in out of the rain)

Baby, come out of the rain

I find myself sitting on a couch at my aunts’ apartment. They’re three old maids you see. My dad’s mom (paternal grandmother) lives with them. Needless to say, she’s the only living grand parent I have. All the rest have died without having known me or were too senile to even recognize who I am. Anyway, back on the couch, my “a-ma” (that’s grandmother in Chinese) would just look at my relatives and my mom as they yap about anything and everything.

Occasions like this always bring me back to my childhood. It’s always me going to where my a-ma lives (together with my aunts) and just sit there. Talking shop a few times with an elderly cousin or my dad’s oldest brother is expected. This is so Chinese of my dad’s family. Not that I don’t like it, in fact I find it interesting. It’s just that, I’m always not in the mood to be with them.

My cousins are different though. They’re all pretty amazing. I have a cousin who’s in the US Military service, just not sure which one. Anyway, he’s in California now. Another who works for Nissan as some VP or Head of something. The other cousins are either a diplomat, an architect, dentist, private school professor, etc. They’re all pretty accomplished. The cousin who’s closest to my age (I’m the youngest in our generation) works for Microsoft in Seattle and graduated from Carnegie Melon University. Gosh!

I’m not the least bit insecure of any of them. I am just really glad that our generation is doing well. You see, my dad’s family used to be part of the Chinese elite here in the Philippines. My mom told me once that my a-ma would shop at Rustan’s (the Barney’s of Manila) with several store personnel waiting on her, a socialite indeed. My dad and his siblings each had their own car, by the time they were 16. Let me remind you that this was back in the day… 1950s and 60s. Cars don’t come that easy for teenagers. My ang-kong (grandfather) was the chairman of the Chinese Chamber of Commerce in Manila, which was why my dad’s family was accorded with much respect.

Also, I remember my mom told me my dad’s siblings are split in two, by where they were born, those who were born in China and those who were born here in the Philippines. My dad’s family had a mansion somewhere in China (I saw pictures, amazing). Before my dad was born, the family moved to the Philippines where my ang-kong had business growing. My a-ma also had family members here as she is also a member of an upper class nobleman whose business was in hardware and construction. Anyway, so all my dad’s siblings starting from him down (that’s my dad, and 2 younger brothers plus two younger sisters) were born here in Manila.

My mom explained that all the siblings born in China were stiff and responsible. The rest (my dad included) were reckless, undisciplined… and spoiled! Ha ha ha! I knew that much about my dad. He was the worst! Mama’s boy. My a-ma’s favorite. Was splurged with anything he wanted. He was like a prince. Owned more cars than any of the lot. Got into the University of the Philippines, got out coz he thought he was better than his professors. He never did get any scolding from that. He put up his own business. Traveled. That’s pretty much it really. I do remember pictures where he had this really large dog, a german shepherd I think. I always try to think where that dog could have been. Oh well.

More later on. :)

Bocceli... hello... Bocceli!!
Wake up! What's with you today? I can't believe I'm actually talking to myself as I attempt to regain some amount of mental and emotional strength. This day has not been good to me. I think it's from being here at work for the last... erm, 10 hours. I'm so not feeling anything. Not a single thing to at least boost me out of this dry spell. Damn.

Ok that was interesting. I just flipped my Sex and the City calendar to show the new month. March. That actually did something. I'm now texting my friend Rony to see if he can meet up with me from say 6PM to 9PM (I have a conference call by 10PM). Don't know if this will push through yet.

I start to think now what I really want to do in life. I'm so sick of it. Really really sick of it. I hate what I'm doing. I wanna just drop everything and start all over. I wanna do something I actually like. I wanna wake up every morning constantly looking forward to what my "job" has for me that day. The shitty thing about this though, I really don't have a fucking clue what that "job" is. I"m so fucked up today.

I wonder if I have male PMS. They should research into that. Men with weird emotional distress at certain times of the year. Hey, at least it's not monthly. I honestly just need something (hell even someone) to tell me just what the hell is wrong with me.

WAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Just in, Rony can't make it tonight but it was sweet of him to give me a call to check up on me. Thanks buddy.

WARNING... this is quite a long post. I was in the mood

7:00 fucking AM... and I've been here in the office for almost half an hour doing nothing. My mail isn't replicating (I access my mail offline so going through them would be faster). For some reason the stupid server doesn't want to get accessed. DARN BITCH!

The weekend was ho hum. I can't believe I was already home by 9ish last Friday. Really... could I be more of a loser!?!? Holy shit, wait a minute. What am I talking about. I have the last episode of Sex and The City with me, in my bag. I reach for the cd and plug it in on my fabulous home theater system (might as well get my money's worth right?) Gladly, I was able to catch the second to the last episode of the show when I was still in Illinois. As I focus my eyes on the television, I hear the familiar tune... just like my phone's ring tone (god I'm soooo gay it's not even funny). I see that the show is starting from where it left off on the episode I caught in my hotel room two weeks ago.

...That's it... The show's over. I can't believe the series is over. I am one huge Sex and the City fan. I even have calendars of the show godsakes. I love Carrie Bradshaw. I can honestly say to myself that I were a woman, I'd sooooo be her. But I'm not and I know I can still be fabulous. :) The show ended as expected. The producers were kind to the viewing public. They gave us what we wanted. I like the fact that the show ended with no "closure" so to speak. You would know from each characters' ending that their lives will go on. That it's not a "they lived happily ever after" sorta deal. I feel weird about this whole last episode bit. It's too unreal. I can't take this. I'll get back to my reading.

The weekend saw me reading a book. Yes, a book. Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella. All too funny. Three thumbs up (if that's even possible). I really related to the character, Rebecca Bloomwood. It was honestly quite eerie. I never loved reading so for me to actually finish a 300 page book in less than five days means I really loved the book and admired the story. I lapped up every page, every word, every letter. It was all too familiar. The story, the character. She's me. I'm her.

Saturday was lunch with my aunt, cousin-in-law, mom and dad. Teriyaki Boy was fun. It's kinda like a Japanese version of CPK (or maybe not, anyway...) I had my tummy filled with too much Norwegian salmon and California Maki. I almost wanted to barf. But I obviously don't. I paid for lunch ($25... not bad at all for five people). Went around the mall with the troupe and ended up at an optical shop where I remembered that my dad needed to get new eye glasses.

We go inside an optical shop where we asked for assistance from one of the store personnel. I told them to bring out frames of different shades preferrably dark, something rustic, and silver... all matte. I asked my dad to wear each one. Dad and I both decided that the silverish matte frames look good. So now I asked the lady to get us some silver matte frames that have a rectangular shape to them. Like me, my dad also has a slightly big face. Our heads don't seem that proportioned with our body. Weird. Given this physiological "abnormality", a squarish or rectangular frame would be in order. Also, for bigger faces (cheeky or whatever), lighter frames like silver or gold(both should be of a matte finish) or even clear ones are a better choice. Dark frames make your face look bigger because it will actually show the size of the frame in proportion to your face as opposed to the "invisible" quality of a lighter colored frame.

The lady comes back with several frames and my dad tried each and every one of them. I let him take his time as I browsed through the frames (my mom was doing the same at the "want to buy rack"). My eyes lock on a particular pair. Are those clear frames? My god. I signal another store personnel to help me out. I asked her to get the frames I just saw out of the display case. I wear them the moment she gave them to me. In a split second I saw myself in the mirror with these really amazing pair of glasses. I looked really fab. They looked really classy. I check out the price... damn!!! They were only P700 less 15%... = P600 (That's like $11). Oh. My. God. I immediately remembered where I placed my old pair and thought of just getting the lenses out of them...

"Those are nice". My mom comes up to me admiring the glasses I'm holding. She tries them on. Loves them, immediately buys them. All this time I was stiff from how quickly things just happened. I'm apalled at how my mom totally disregarded the possibilty that I would be buying the pair. FUCK! I suddenly remembered, I could ask the store if they have extra stock of those glasses as I honestly didn't care if my mom and I had the same frames. The lady behind the counter said that they don't have one then and there but they could call one fo their branches to have a pair sent in by Monday. I was relieved, all feeings of annoyance faded. Whew.

Early afternoon went by, my dad finished his "eye check-up" and I obviously had to pay for his glasses ($100) for unbranded glasses. Those damn progressive lenses can be so expensive. Thank god for company allowances (we get an optical allowance at the company I work for). Took all of them home and read my book for a few minutes. Then I was off to meet my man at the Alabang Town Center. It was our usual Satuday night. Towards the end of it though, we both met up with friends of mine at a Chinese resto stayed a bit then off to the near by Seattle's Best Coffee shop.

Got my second dose of Javanilla. Amazing drink I tell you. It's made out of blended mocha ice cream. Conversation was quite light. A friend from Singapore called us up and we all got a chance to chat a bit with him. It was a nice evening.

Sunday... hmmmm... why am I up so early. Oh my goodness, mass at 8:30AM. Think think, ok, red shirt, Gap jeans, white belt and sneaks. Fabulous...

... mass was done and the next thing I know we were at the Manila World Trade Expo for the Philippine International Furniture Show... aptly entitled "Obra" (masterpiece).

We got in on the first day because my mom used to work for a company that had a steel department and they're one of the suppliers tapped by various furniture manufacturers. The first day is usually for corporate buyers, you know, those who buy stuff for their hotels, million dollar houses, corporate offices, blah blah blah. Anyway, I made my run through the various booths in an organized manner. Start from one end, end on the other. Ha ha ha. Easy right? Finished the entire thing in less than an hour. I have to admit I had a fun time oggling at the amazing displays. These Filipino designers are uber talented. One of my faves was a retro designed seat (almost Herman Miller-ish) but using woven bamboo as base and nice warm colors for upholstery. They all looked so European but warm and cozy because of the Filipino touch brought by the weaves.

Wish one day I'd have the guts and gold to get me those damn furniture. I'd love to hibernate in a house filled with amazing things. *sigh*... I dream....