The days have been hectic for me lately and sometimes I notice that I haven't been much of a boyfriend to my honey. I haven't seen him since Saturday and I really miss him a lot. We have been growing and developing, at least that's what I notice. Somehow, texting each other has been less but I don't attribute it to the possibility that something is lacking. It's more of we know how each other is and we that we are more secure about each other.

Updated the site, added sections for different pictures. Hope it's enjoyed. Nothing too great to talk about.

Still have "Love Always Finds A Way" in my head. I can't get enough of that song. I have been dying to sing it since the time I got to hear an interpretation of it by Regine Velasquez. I'm a big fan so I hope I don't get flak from people out there.

As usual, work is not as fulfilling as when I was in Chicago. Things there were more exciting and the people I worked with had such high respects for me. It helps you know, when co-workers have a high regard for your opinions and somehow project that you are important to the team.

I miss the Chicago, all it offered me and will offer me just gets me in a depressed mood. As if I could just fly there any time. Avoid the horrible winters.

With earphones on me, no music seems to go through... argh... the player is not working. I'll check you laterz.

I'm happy that I already made a really decent webpage for myself. I'm glad that no matter how much work there is, I was still able to accomplish something I can be very proud of. Work sucks. Coding is a total bore. How I wish I could just sing forever. Sing my way through life. Live off from singing. Get mucho bucks from performing.

Me and friends have been planning to catch the musical Falsettos which will be starting its run this weekend and will last until August. I have heard scores from the musical as a friend of mine was able to let me listen to the music which he got from another friend of his. Songs are very easy, not quite your Les Mis intense volume and emotion but still, the words used were very witty and well thought of. The musical is a story of a gay couple who has to go through life with one of the guy's son having to grow up knowing his dad is gay. Did I confuse you with that? You'll figure it out. Anyway, it triggered thoughts in my head about me having children, or at the least, a child (boy or girl... I don't care).

I have always wanted to know how a child with my genes and someone else's would look like. Will the child be as tall as me (not saying that I'm uber tall but I'm taller that your average Filipino guy). Read this book by Dan Savage called "The Kid". It was about how the author and his domestic partner went through with doing open adoption just so that they can have a baby to call their own. Mostly showed how much of the adoption stage was really spent on having to resolve issues with in the couple and outside of their relationship, including that of the biological mom's. Oh well, it would bore you and myself to actually delve into the specifics but the book is a good read.

Anyway, I believe Pride celebrations are just around the corner. Can't wait.

Have a great weekend peeps!... Check you all next week. Love you honey!

My love for music, I just realized, hasn't really been made that clear in this blog. A quick history of how I found music or how music found me.

I was in pre-school. Here in the Philippines they'd have mini graduation rites for pre-school. The teacher got me and this girl classmate of mine to do a song for the "graduation". If I remember correctly, we sang that "... i'm but a small voice..." song by Lea Salonga. It was all too cheesy really. But nonetheless, I would remember getting a rush from that particular performance. So I thought singing in front of people was cool. I didn't know back then that I had a good voice mind you.

Grade school came and I think I joined almost every year in the singing competitions in school. Lucky me, I'd win everytime. So thru those 6 years in Grade school, I was able to establish a name, a reputation in school. Students from high school knew me. To a kid in the 5th Grade that was really cool.

During that transition from Grade school to high school, my mom enrolled me in singing lessons at the Ryan Cayabyab Music Studio. That was a really good decision for after that, my confidence really multiplied. I felt more at ease with tackling other songs (aside from those lung exhausting belts of Carey and Houston). I was introduced to Broadway.

High school was a bore. Did the usual performances here and there. I always stopped in the middle of what I was doing and think of how it would've been like to drop everything and pursue a career in showbiz. But then, I'd think, "nah... I want to be a stock broker".. (or something to that effect). This when I was 14 or 15... yikes!

In college I finally got my opportunity to sing more often. Joined a choir, the De La Salle University Chorale, and really enjoyed my stay with the group. Taking me to so many places all over Europe. Performances for various dignitaries and royalty. Performance venues that I only dreamed I was going to perform in but I actually ended up performing at.

Until now I still miss the whole experience of being in that group. Although us alumni members of the choir still enjoy hanging out and performing together, like we always say, being in the real thing is different.

I still listen to choral music which has been, for me, one of the most beautiful sounds I have ever heard. So, that's how my love for music started. Hope that sheds light to what makes me feel like my life has and always will be influenced by music.

To my honey, I will always be singing great music to/for you.

I got to chatting with a friend of mine about this old friend of ours. The old friend used to be close to our group. He was one of my really close friends. A huge issue blew up in our faces which caused the fall out between the group and him. We ended up hating him for the fact that we felt we were abandoned by him. Makes one think, do close friends become "nasty" when they are no longer your friends? Is it bad to feel hate for someone who was once a friend you loved like a brother?

*sigh*

We miss him.

Woke up this morning with a smile on my face. A message from my honey said he loves me. It's hard to imagine that only a few days ago, we were almost going to break up because of something I did. This got me thinking about our relationship. He mentioned to me one time that he noticed that we'd end up in a semi-fight everytime we see each other. I had to agree, he was right. I noticed the same thing. It seemed though that the semi-fights happened after our first month. Have we moved on from the honeymoon phase to the next phase? Have feelings matured between us? Has the relationship started taking on a new form or constantly improve?

Do relationships that start with sex/making love mature faster?

I have been through a few relationships and so far, all of them didn't last long. I only consider myself having had one ex-boyfriend as I only had on "official" boyfriend prior to my current boyfriend. Others came along but nothing worked out that well because it started with sex, nothing else to look forward to. But my point is, when a couple become a couple, and sex was the instrument for them to be together, will their relationship mature or move faster than usual. This goes for either straight relationships or otherwise.

I remember telling my honey that I had this theory about gay relationships. The theory goes, each month a gay couple goes through represents 6 months to a year in straight relationship years. The idea sprouted from the fact that not a lot straight relationships start off for/by/with sex. I can yack all I can about this but of course, I could be mistaken.

Last night was amazing. Dinner, onto my honey's place. I loved the STAR WARS Trilogy VCD he gave me. He remembered that I have been wanting to catch the earlier STAR WARS movies after getting the whole story of the "epic" series. Thanks honey! Love you! Here's to more months and years.

Meeting my honey in a few. I can't wait to see him ! I got him a gift. I hope he likes it. It's been a long day as I have been anticipating the moment we see each other again after that huge tiff we had last Friday. I just want to hold him in my arms and show him how much I love him. Wish me luck!

Start of a new week, things can never be better. It's the start of me and my honey's third month together. We have very recently went through (and maybe still are going through) some issues which I'd rather not talk about. In a way, I'm ok with that fact that it happened this early, so at least we'll be able to hurdle the issues at this stage of our relationship. It seems that I've hurt my honey's feelings and I completely lost his trust in me. That is really hard to regain. I do express my deepest apologies to him. I want him to know that I will do anything in my power to gain his confidence back so he can trust me again. (just to pre-empt anyone here, I did NOT cheat on him)

Thanks honey for giving me the chance of loving you. I will always love you. Days have been better since you came into my life. Here's to hoping to live more months and years with you.

"... sometime, that sometime will turn to forever, for all time...
... somewhere, that somewhere will not just be one place, but everywhere..."

"... our love, like love, it's what it is, it's what we've got..."

I love you!

I have recently been absorbed in the world of Magic... not the David Blane kind... the cards kind. It came about when I wanted to get into the things my honey is into. In this case he's into Magic cards and video games. I have loved video games since I can remember, I just forgot how to appreciate them when I started high school and all throughout college. Now I'm close to getting hooked. Good thing we don't have a PS (1 or 2) at home. Magic, I did my first unfinished duel last night. It was fun. I like the fact that I get to share his interests now.

At this time, I have to get him into my interests. Music and sports. I'm into performance music, choral music, tennis and hmmm... that would be it for now. More interests coming from me would exhaust my honey.

Responded to my baby with the lines...
"I'm glad that I am able to impart some values I have learned from life thru actions and the way I live my life. It(being responsible) is something I've really felt strongly about. I'm glad that I can influence you in that way."
..."When one is able to get a hold of himself and has control over things, it means they have control of their lives. Small things like controlling certain urges really leads to an overpowering feeling. When you know you can tell yourself what to do and not give in to cravings or the urges then you are on your way to controlling your life."

I don't know if I was able to get my message across. I hope I did.

Woke up this morning with a message on my phone... my honey is worried about us...

Read an email from him. It was a response to this mail I sent him about a list of three words people should sincerely say in a relationship, of any form. After the mail, what was left in my heart were the words he "uttered" ... "I still have much to learn about you and your feelings, quirks and idiosyncrasies. And if it takes me forever to walk that path, I'll gladly walk with you. I love you."

To you, my baby... I love you too.

Weekend's over and I'm back to the daily grind. Friday night was amazing. We went to this bar called Acquario. Amazing. I felt like I was in a trendy bar in Manhattan. All white with blue lights. Philippe Starck looking furniture. It was so cool. I was with friends the entire evening (including my honey). A few hours before heading to Acquario, we were at doing karaoke and it felt good to sing again after how many weeks of no singing. I blasted a few songs some local, mostly foreign. My friends had me start up with Mariah's Never Too Far Away... argh! I was like, darn. It did stretch my voice immediately but I thought it was too much. Good thing though was they enjoyed it. Then did a few 80s music like Fra Lippo Lippi and James Ingram. Some local stuff. Uhm. I think we closed with a Swing Out Sister song, Breakout. There are karaoke clubs here in Manila that have private rooms so we could embarrass ourselves more.

The next day was mellow. Woke up at 2ish in the afternoon. Had late lunch with the parental units. Slept a bit and got ready for anticipated mass at half past 5. I was going to sing with the choir. Met up with my honey after mass. We went to the nearby mall to hang around and do some window shopping. We headed off to watch "40 Days and 40 Nights" which I thought was funny. Lest for those ignorant guys at the back row whom we thought were there just to annoy the other people watching the movie. Argh! Took my honey home. It was a quite evening.

Woke up earlier for Sunday. Lounged around the house and didn't get my lazy ass working a thing. Had a heavy breakfast. Coffee and newspaper. Ok ok... there was no newspaper. I said that so you would think I'm one who's into current events. Went to the mall with my mom to get stuff for my room. My new Ethan Allen looking bed is arriving in a couple of weeks so I've been searching for the best sheets I could find.

Which brings us to the here and now... I'll check in again in a while... laterz.

Today's been very slow and calm. We got treated with ice cream to lessen the depression with in our group. This was because of the loss we experienced last night. Things were great at work. Less pressure than usual. It's been a great day so far. Met up with my honey at the mall. We hung out at a deli and talked about things. It was a good talk as we were able to iron more things about our relationship. He said something like everything he does with me is never boring or never uninteresting. That's so sweet of him to say something like that. We're off to a karaoke thing tonight. I'm going to be singing a few songs for him. Hopefully he likes them.

Just a quick update. We lost the game. Darn! Oh well, there's always next year. Being better prepared and well skilled for next season would be a task for all of the team members. Sometimes things we pray for aren't given to us in the time we want them because God always knows when the right time is for our prayers to be answered. FUN FUN FUN!

Beep beep beep...
My cell phone (a.k.a. my alarm clock) woke me up this morning. As I got up from bed a sudden gush of pain went thru me. I felt most of it coming from my right leg. First thought that came to my head was what's going to happen to our game tonight (I had a volleyball game tonight, it's the last game of the championships). After telling my honey what had happened, I felt bad that he thinks he's guilty for my minor "injury". Too much tossing and turning. He he he... I was able to wrap it with a bandage and tried out driving to work. The day was slow. I wore sandals in the office for fear of stressing my leg because of the leather shoes. I thought to myself why wearing sandals in the office isn't allowed when all you end up with is being more comfortable. Bugger. Oh well. I have constantly told my honey to not feel guilty with my situation. I hope he realizes that it wasn't his fault that I gave too much... er... pleasure. He he he... The big game's up in a couple of hours. Hopefully we get the match! Right now, all I can think of is being in the arms of the one I love and just be cradled in his gentle embrace. I love him!

It has been such a hectic and just absolutely tiring day. Almost hellish. Hopefully things get better later as I am to meet up with my honey. Miss him so much. I haven't seen him in almost a week. Pressures from work really get me so drained and I end up thinking how much more I can take. But I have never been one who quits. I can't wait for the karaoke session we have this Friday. Set me up some songs to try out. Hopefully it goes well. I feel like I need a shower. :)

I know, I know... it's been a while since last I posted. Things have just been really great the last month. Me and my honey (that's what I call him now) are close to two months being together. I can't wait. Things just happen and all for a reason. We learn more and more about each other. I'm loving it. Each person becomes more and more mature about how to deal with situations when they arise. I end up learning how to deal with his quirks and he is starting to learn about how to deal with mine. =) we went to this country club 2 hours away from the city and spent the night there. Cuddled in bed. Amazing. It felt so right. Did things together in the bathroom, his side and my side. It was really cute. I really love it! I love him!