No shit...


You Are The Suave Gay Man


What Type Of Gay Man Are You?
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Just a quick one... I can't believe it's been 11 months since me and honey hooked up. I can't wait for the next months till forever. :)

In this world where every human being seeks for stability, certain things come to my mind. Before anything else, I'm an artist. A son, a boyfriend, and a best friend. Being an artist, I don't think I'm living the life I want. I once chatted with my manager (he was in Dublin) and we were talking about how crappy things are in Manila, why were we working so late, and other shit like that. I told him that it was just the way us Manila folks work. He told me that it's not worth it. Asked me what I would do if I were given the choice (anything). I answered, sing. When he asked why I'm not singing I was lost for words. I had nothing substantial to give him as a response. Am I to be one of those people in the movies who never went for their dreams and just became content with easy living?

I've always imagined being an artist (quasi Bohemian at most). There too much running through my veins and I fear that one day I'll just burst... into song. :)

I was told by a friend that it shouldn't be that difficult to live that dream, but not in the Philippines. I agree. Stability is still a big factor for us Filipinos. I then told that manager that, maybe it's the encouragement, the push I need that's not there. I'm thinking I'll need someone to drop kick my ass on a stage to sing my guts out.

So, should people still reach for their dreams given the high amount of risk involved? Should I attempt for being the person I truly am? What the FUCK should I do???

Just thought I'd post on something that's been on my mind. I have affirmed to myself that I will be moving out from my parents' house an live on my own. Me and my honey haven't finalized plans but there are plans of moving in together. We won't be together all days of the week though as we would definitely need time for ourselves and be with our respective families on weekends or special occassions. I am just curious as to how things will pan out. If we'll actually do well with living in one place for a long period of time. I'm also hoping that we wont end up on each other's necks by the first month. I have heard some stories but I don't know if those stories would apply to us. Watching Sex and The City isn't helping much. I don't know if I will actually be used to having someone around that often. I remembered the whole single eccentricities we all have would get dumped because we are sharing a place with another person when we live in together. Do we really have to sacrifice our single lifestyle for a piece of bliss? Why is moving in so damn complicated when all we really want is to be close to the person we love? Are gay men really for domesticated paradise?

Damn you ... that was such a funny post on "gay roomies" from Dan Savage's column... which is why I'm going to link to it here.

By golly does time fly...

I can't believe I have been out from my journal for ages. It's been too long. Too many unforgettable memories that will remain where I kept them... in my heart and mind. Memories of my great relationship with my honey. We've been doing great so far. The bad things that came our way have been good reminders of ourselves and our individuality. Like I said to my honey, the conflicts or issues we've been through end up being lessons learned in my mind. They're not at all bad memories or bad experiences. More of things I will be charging to experience, at least my wisdom account would improve.

Sang my honey a song one night. He cried. I guess it's because he felt what I was feeling the moment I was singing to him. For those curious about what song it was, I did "Someone Like You" from the musical Jekyll and Hyde. It's one of my favorite love songs. My honey even wrote about the experiece (me singing to him) you can check it here. I loved every minute of it. The song represented everything I felt towards my honey.

Love you baby!

By golly does time fly...

I can't believe I have been out from my journal for ages. It's been too long. Too many unforgettable memories that will remain where I kept them... in my heart and mind. Memories of my great relationship with my honey. We've been doing great so far. The bad things that came our way have been good reminders of ourselves and our individuality. Like I said to my honey, the conflicts or issues we've been through end up being lessons learned in my mind. They're not at all bad memories or bad experiences. More of things I will be charging to experience, at least my wisdom account would improve.

Sang my honey a song one night. He cried. I guess it's because he felt what I was feeling the moment I was singing to him. For those curious about what song it was, I did "Someone Like You" from the musical Jekyll and Hyde. It's one of my favorite love songs. My honey even wrote about the experiece (me singing to him) . I loved every minute of it. The song represented everything I felt towards my honey.

Love you baby!

Sheesh.. new year... beginning...

I got this email today from a friend, makes me think these are things I should start focussing on, again.

More often than not, we let the idea of LIFE eat us up. but what if we just stuck to the basic rules of life? You know, the things that we learned when we were just kids. basic rules that seems so simple, we take them for granted...or is it just that as we grow older and wiser(?) we find it harder to follow them...


Don't lie.

Don't cheat.

Don't be selfish.

Be good.

Say your prayers daily.

Don't take your friends for granted.

Eat your vegetables.

Smile.

Say thank you.

Love unconditionally.

New year... beginning the year with my arms around you, my honey, will always be cherished. Here's to more new years with you! I love you!

Words that profess love always get to me... argh!... I'm such a sap!

"What have you done to me? I'm so in love with you right now. I don't think I can let you go. I don't want to share you either. I love you so much it hurts..." - this from a guy who wasn't always so emotional when it comes to the yucky love stuff... it counts a lot!

I love him with all my heart.

Christmas just went by so quickly. My group performed at the Manila Peninsula which is equivalent to The Plaza of Manhattan. We basically sang carols and pop songs to the delighted crowd. Made me feel all good inside to know that we were able to entertain the people who watched us perform.

With the three nights that we sang our hearts out to the guests of the hotel, my honey wasn't able to see or hear us. He was unavailable. He felt bad that he couldn't devote much time for me the past few days. I understand. Commitments can't be easily dissed. They are kept. I would just want him to know that for as long as I know that if he could go, he would've, then I'm content. Intentions have plus points too.

He gave me a bottle of Clinique Happy... and told me that he can stay over at my place (note: I still live with my parents which is pretty common here in the Philippines given that I'm still 24). I actually think that the staying over at my place thingie was better than the perfume, but who am I to complain when receiving gifts, I love gifts.

His blog talks about some things which happened the last few days which I really don't want to talk about much. Maybe sometime soon. I do however love the fact that the outcome of it all is that we both ended up loving each other more.

I miss having a bialy and coffee with him at this cafe where we had breakfast the day before Christmas. I love the fact that my mom acknowledges him as my boyfriend and that I don't have to "hide" his existence. He's legit! My mom's starting to become a flame dame... she'd make such queer comments that would get me frozen. My mom's cool and I love her.

Today's been freakishly busy for me. Tons of backlog with work. I hate it. Annoying subordinates. They take their vacations before completing their tasks. I swear to God. I wish they'd be more considerate sometimes. *sigh* Well, on a lighter note, my friends and I are meeting up with a friend who entered the brotherhood for La Sallian Brothers (FSC). He's been there for more than a year and I would think that during the holiday season, they would get time to spend with their families meaning time to go out as well. I hope he's doing great. I'll catch up with him and the other at Greenbelt Mall in half an hour. I'm suddenly craving for food from MYLK (My Little Kitchen). Oh wellz... :)

It's been eight months with Jagard and I think I'm loving him more now than ever before. Mostly because of the fact that I know him more now. I've seen how he is. We've gone through much the past few months. Of course I am also anticipating more things to come, good and bad. We're still planning that wild trip to Bangkok... hopefully soon. I can't wait. Last night was great. Gave him a semi lap dance. Ha ha ha... It was fun. I loved talking to him face to face, eye to eye. Only an inch of space between our faces. He said I have nice eyes. What a sweetie.

This week will be another grind for me. Things just keep coming. I really hope I can take this much pressure. Been listening to this CD my honey lent me. It's actually quite good. Various sounds. They call it World Music. I guess I should know what World Music is but I can't really say that I do. But this CD is giving me insights on what various music can be like. I always liked Enya.