Fell in a bit of a slump yesterday. Thought about how big of a responsibility it is to support a family. Although I don't support them that much, the fact that I am the one they rely on for most of the expenses outside of the usual shit like utilities and food makes it really stressful for me sometimes.

But it is during these down times I feel so lucky to have someone to be there for me. My shock absorber. As Carrie would put it, my zip drive (someone who can back me up).

My honey threw me a question... Do I consider our relationship as added pressure or as a solace?

I told him it's both. Sometimes the pressure is there when you know you have to think of someone first before deciding on certain things. Especially things which will affect both of you. Mostly though, it's a solace for me. I know I can run to my honey for strength when I have no more left in me to carry on at that exact moment. Which got me thinking, was Carrie right about being dependent on your boyfriend. I believe that really is part of it. When you start trusting each other, the tendency is to seek each others' help. That's what relationships are all about. Another tendency is to depend on them as you have during those times when your loved one extends you their shoulder, their hand, their warm lips. It's more like how would I cope without my honey.

I'm such a cry baby. I'm too in tune with my tear glands. It's like I have them on speed dial or something. The moment I get all sad or depressed, I feel like I can easily access my tears so I could shed the hurt, or bad feelings away. It feels great though that instead of kleenex, I have my honey's hands to wipe away my tears. I always love it when I feel him touch my cheeks in a mild brush just to gently remove the tears off my face. How he puts my head on his left shoulder in a gesture that only someone who loves you can show.

I love you honey. Thanks for being there always.