My version of Carson Kressley's (Queer Eye for the Straight Guy) bio...

Bocceli was born in 1978 and received his first piece of couture at the humble and tender age of 2. He slowly learned that he was a gifted child by realizing that plaid and stripes never go together and pleats make your butt look huge. He developed his keen fashion sense on the playground, mixing and matching outfits of all the children in his head and daydreaming of a world where everyone knew it was a cardinal sin to wear white after Labor Day. This constant daydreaming caused him to excel in the fashion world but still made him the first boy chosen in gym class.

In his professional life, Bocceli is an closet stylist who spent many years working with local fashionistas, specializing in the design aspect of women's evening wear. He also aided in fashion styling for his current company's dress code.