es-cap-ism
–noun
the avoidance of reality by absorption of the mind in entertainment or in an imaginative situation, activity, etc.
It is odd to find oneself in a state where you just do not want to deal with reality. When friends become characters in a movie. When work becomes a haven for not thinking about what is real and happening. When everything else in your life, except being who you are, is no longer real.
Times like these, I end up thinking why am I where I am at now. What brought me here? Why do I have to be here? Questions that do not seem to get answered with how I am coping with things at the moment. It is these exact questions why I choose to just focus on other things instead of myself.
Watching episode after episode of Grey's Anatomy and Desperate Housewives, catching the latest feel good movie, or going out drinking pretty much all week. Activities that get me out of reality so I do not have to deal with it. It sounds pretty sad, or weird, but I find myself wondering if that is who I really am.
It just dawned on me that I am someone who would rather live a movie than be *sigh* me.
No comments:
Post a Comment