from the Jealousy Test.

Thank God!

Results of the Jealousy Test
General Index
Your score = 17

What does your score mean?
Most people who are involved in an important relationship carry a certain amount of fear and feel threatened by the possibility of being displaced and losing a partner to someone else. After all, these things happen, and when they do, it is usually very painful. Very few people display a blatant lack of jealousy. In your case, the lack is not blatant. Nevertheless, you appear to be a person in whom jealousy can be evoked but who does not live in a permanent state of fear of losing the loved one. If you were honest with yourself while taking the test, this means that you are secure, strong, independent and rational enough to perceive the possibility of losing your partner to someone else not extremely threatening. That does not mean that you do not care; you would certainly be sad or crushed as anybody else. However, you know that if it ever happens, you will survive with your self-esteem intact, with your head up and with dignity. You realize that even though you might love your partner very much, s/he is not the only compatible creature on earth, and that you would eventually find happiness with someone else. Such feelings give you a sense of security and the strength to trust, and allow you to be comfortable in the relationship. That, in turn, boosts the chances of a lasting and fulfilling relationship. See the subscores below for a more detailed analysis.

Jealousy and your emotions/thinking patterns
Your score = 18

At both the emotional and cognitive level, you seem to be relatively in control. Your test score shows that when it comes to trusting your partner, you are a downright pragmatic. You do not expect too much, nor do you expect too little. You are capable of dealing with the fact that your partner interacts with people s/he might find physically or spiritually attractive. You don't, however, get upset about minor things.

Building up your level of trust would enable you to feel more secure and in control. You could avoid feeling anxious, hurt and betrayed because of things that do not warrant such strong emotions. This would result in a much stronger, healthier relationship both for you and your partner.

Jealous behavior
Your score = 14

You seem to do the right thing in many situations, but often you do not. It is true that sometimes a little bit of jealousy can put a spark into a relationship. However, it is a dangerous weapon that might easily be used against you. As such, you had better keep it under control.

From the viewpoint of a partner, jealousy is generally very unbecoming. More often than not, it can spoil the relationship to the point of a breakup. Ironically, jealousy, which originates in the fear of losing your mate, might result in exactly that.

It is certainly hard to behave as a perfect gentleman/lady when you are burning inside. However, the pain will eventually subside if you decide to work on it. You can learn to control jealous behavior through detecting the first signs and making a conscious decision not to take the shortcut to your regular pattern. With some training, you will be able to recognize and block the behavior before it starts. However, that alone will not do it. You need to address the underlying insecurity, which most likely comes from a low self-esteem. When you stop feeling and behaving as if your mate was doing you a favor by being with you, you will grow - in your own eyes, and your partner's probably too. If your mate thrives on your jealousy, then it is a pretty safe guess that s/he has a problem that needs to be addressed and that your relationship has an unhealthy element.

Irrational jealousy
Your score = 13

While you do not get extremely upset about innocent circumstances, you do sometimes overreact to harmless situations. You may recognize that you are not always being entirely rational, but you have an emotional reaction nonetheless. If you have troubles distinguishing innocent actions from potential betrayal, try to put yourself in the shoes of a bystander, someone looking in on the situation. Many situations will not appear as threatening when you are not the one directly involved. Try to keep that perspective when you reassess the situation. I can assure you that it will pay off in the improvement of your love life.

Dependency issues
Your score = 8

You do not seem to have any dependence problems. You feel you are an individual separate from your partner, and you do not depend solely on him/her for gratification of all your needs. That is very healthy.

Self-esteem issues
Your score = 12

It appears that you do not have any serious self-esteem problems, at least not when your love life is concerned.

Control issues
Number of endorsed controlling statements: 1

You appear to display controlling behavior to some degree. You might be controlling in different ways: by limiting your partner from a position of strength (physical or psychological) or from a position of weakness in a passive aggressive way. In your case, the problem is not extremely serious, but it can be resented by your partner anyway. You should take a critical look at yourself and do something about it.